Toy Machine Orange Wax
Attention Toy Machine Wax Buyer: Sect says buy me. This wax is for skateboarders. No exceptions. Now go grease a ledge. But wait, Toy Machine hates when rollerbladers wax the hell out of their ledges and rails, making them dangerously slick! Everybody at Toy Machine have been injured by these overwaxers! Toy Machine brings you some pointers:
1. This wax is for skateboarders
2. This wax is to be used when needed, for instance, in situations where without it, you would not be able to do the trick you are trying
3. In the case of the above, it should be used sparingly so as not to ruin the spot or attract non-skateboarders
4. This wax could be melted and used to make candles
5. Use on a surfboard would be cool, but perhaps a softer or scented wax would be nicer
6. This wax could be used on door-jams in case of a noisy or tight door
7. This wax could be whittled into a knife that when melted would not carry fingerprints
8. Wax is not a solution for fear of speed. In most cases going faster would be preferable than using wax
9. Drilling holes into the top of the wax, (after painting it) would make a nice pencil holder. A great gift!
10. Don’t get all huffed up, we are just serious.